BuNoWriMo and Changing my Stars

Wow!  I have come such a long way.  As of now it is midnight.  Officially June 1st.  I am now going to start my first WriMo Challenge.  And, of course, because it is me, I am being a rebel right off the bat because I already have 26xxx words written.  The challenge is to write 50xxx.  Here's where I stand with that:  I am finishing the rough draft of my first novel this month.  Whether that means writing another 50k or not really doesn't matter.  And I am OK with this.

I've done some sprints with my friend and writing buddy, Nova Lovette and loved it.  I also found a Facebook group that is set up just for sprints.  Perfect.  Nova clued me in on a webinar type thingy...and I watched an author go through her process of outlining using post-it notes.  I LOVE her ideas and have bought my post-its, so I am ready to go--as soon as I go back to Wal-Mart and buy the whiteboard I knew I should have bought today :-(

I've found my voice, my spine, my grit.  Had a poem rejected from Everyday Poets.  Well, their loss.  They seem to prefer a tighter rhyme and meter and I'm more of a free verse style poet.  No loss to me.  I have other poems that fit what they are looking for.  But, unlike my previous rejection, I am not set back or really all that disappointed.  I know my poem is good and will fit somewhere.  Just not there.  And I am OK with that too.

This trend of finding my voice in my writing and publishing adventures, is translating into my personal life too.  I have always been the type of person who accepts everyone and excuses their mistakes even when they are "crimes against me".  I don't like to call people out for doing things that hurt or bother me.  It makes me feel guilty for hurting them even though they were in the wrong.  This has landed me in more than enough sticky situations as you can imagine.

Well, this week alone, I asked a dear friend to please try and refrain from drunk dialing me if at all possible, told my ex that I was not discussing something that was none of his business and did not let someone else's inappropriate decision bring me down with them.  (I swear, reading this it sounds like I have some great people in my life...lol!  Just one of those weeks I guess.)  Guess what.  The only one who was offended was the last one, and that is because he was called out for his decision and embarrassed--and not someone I ever wanted in my life, but we can't choose all of those who impact us.  Everyone else was respectful about my space and privacy.  I didn't have to compromise myself and didn't have to be mean.  I just had to express what I wanted and let it go.  It feels so good to be finding myself.

I wouldn't be in this position without my writing.  As my character is experiencing this same phenomenon, it seems we are growing together.  Writing truly can be a healing process.  That being said...can't wait to see who I am at the end of this month...after I have changed my stars and become an author who has "finished" a novel.

A Man Can Change His Stars: A Knight's Tale

Burning Tulips

I put tulips under all the pillows, and then I set fire to the house
Please don't ask me why, as I am not at liberty to say one word

It's better this way, the perfect love will protect my soul
and get us across the river for a cheaper fare--and a smile

I swear to you now, all is just fine. No crying, No, please
Our fame with the devil was worth the song in your heart

Come quickly to the playground and jump on a swing
We can tease the heavens, dragging sweet wind with our feet

I know exactly what I'm doing with the gift of eternity
Cycling back and forth, corrupting the family with love

ROW80 Check in: What exactly does failure look like??

I'm trying to decide if I've done well or not lately.  I've decided that this check in is a chance for me to get feedback from you all.  Here's what I've accomplished, you let me know what you think.

• Write 1,000 words on days I have no kids. FAIL!!  I have not made much progress on this exact goal, however I have written out several ideas and structures for new work.  I have toyed with the idea of marrying two of my OLD short stories into a new novel idea.  This has given me lots of hope.  I have also looked into the free trial of Scrivener and am considering a purchase there.  Any thoughts on this product?  I have written some poems and done some actual out of the house life living which is always good for getting the creativity going.

• Attend Writer's Group on a regular basis. I did miss one this past week because I thought I was going to New Orleans this past weekend and I wanted to spend as much time with my kids as I could before I left for four days,  Turns out I didn't go, so that means I do get to go to writer's group this week.  I missed it so much the one week I didn't get to go.  I did, however exchange a short story with a member from the group and we gave each other feedback before submitting to a publisher.

• Select/Revise/Submit entries on days I have the boys. This is where I have been very successful!  I have revised a great deal AND I submitted my first piece to Red Fez for their next issue!  I am so excited to hear what they think!  This will be my first experience with anything like this since I started taking my writing more seriously.  Wish me luck!!

• Blog on Wednesdays. Well, who am I kidding?  I have been working on a blog post for about a week.  I don't know why this one has been so hard to write.  I am working with it a little everyday and intend to finish it today.

• Read one post on improving craft and develop my platform for an hour everyday. This one I have been putting overtime in on.  Now I know this is fruitless if I don't have anything to share with my social network because I haven't spent enough time writing.  I am obsessed with Twitter and the connecting that is possible there.  I have watched my blog grow in numbers and enjoyed the feedback from supporters.  I have loved reading the work of others and listening to how they stay focused and develop their craft.  I had this personal goal of reaching 1,200 followers by the end of this month (which is harder because I have reached a follow limit and can't follow new people).  I made it and then some with a day to spare!!  I think a goal of 200 new followers a month is something I want to aim for.  I realize that in order to do this, I have to contribute something of value.  So, the pressure to write more and blog regularly is really on now.

So, for real, if you see me hanging out on Twitter or Facebook too much, please ask me how much writing I have done that day.  I think that is where the time suck is.  This past week or so has had me distracted, but I'm not completely disappointed with what I have accomplished.  I just need to sit down for that regular daily writing.  The ideas are there...   

Bring on 2012 and Watch me Grow

With a new life opening before me, 2012 is going to be the year I rule MY world!  Far too long, I have repressed my inner self.  My writer!  I have made everyone and everything a priority above my most innate need.  My fellow writers understand, I'm sure, how strong the urge to write and relieve the build up of imagination within can be.  To have something to say and have it be heard is the ultimate in personal freedoms.

Let me be clear, nothing or no one prevented me from writing but me.  Internalizing so much of who I am has caused greater damage than any another person could inflict.  This is why I am taking back my life, freeing myself and inviting others to join in the self-development and healing that writing can bring.

During 2012, I have work to do.  Goals to reach:

Finish 1st novel (13,100 out of 36,000 words) 

Submit poetry and flash fiction entries once a month

Blog once a week

Continue to build my platform and brand

I could go on, but I've learned over the years, there is a need to limit goals to what can be managed alongside life.  Otherwise, I quit at the first setback because it feels like there's too much to catch up on.  WHEN I achieve these goals, I will set new ones.  So join me on this journey, learn with me, cheer me on, correct my mistakes, ignore my rants.  Just don't expect me to stop and go away, because I won't.