Book Review: Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

This novel is a nugget of Southern life not often found in YA these days.  Often, books set in the South are Civil War laden and Historical Fiction.  Beautiful Creatures, with its modern day Gatlin setting, was not your "typical" YA location.  For this reason, I liked the book.  The fresh perspective and setting gave characters some room to stand out from all the dystopian love tragedies out there. 

However, I don't know what it was about this book that left me wanting more, feeling somewhat unfulfilled. Something was missing. There was this constant vibe of Twilight and Harry Potter and something else. As I read, I felt like some parts were overwritten, like missing his dead mother, and other parts were underwritten leaving me to fill in the blanks, like dad and his lack of writing.

I wanted to love this book. I was pulled in by the sensory language (Lena's hair constantly curling and uncurling) but then left hanging there by the lack of character depth and development in some of the key auxiliary characters (even Amma seemed lacking). I still intend to see the movie in hopes the plot will be redeemed, but sadly, I'm just not feeling the pull to read the rest of the books in the series.

5 Reasons Adults Should Read with Teenagers

Remember that feeling of picking out a stack of books, running to the most obliging adult, and begging them to read you a story?  Then there is that warm, tingly feeling you still have when you see a book from elementary school--one of those the teacher read to the class as we all lost ourselves in an imaginary world for a bit. Reading is one of those common experiences we all share.  It is entertainment, education and promotes bonding. We begin experiencing reading even before we can do it by ourselves.  By middle and high school, something happens though.  No longer do we look forward to those "class books" and those shared moments.  Why is this?  What changed?

Well, here's what I see everyday in my job as a 7th grade English teacher.  My middle school students can all tell me about a book sharing experience that brings out a smile, however, these experiences are few and far between after 5th grade.  Frequently, parents ask me what books their child should be reading.  That one is easy to answer.   Too often, parents ask what book their child IS reading and each time I answer, I am sure to include a reason or two for a parent to pick up a book with their child.

Here are my top five reasons adults should continue to read with the teens in their lives, well after the kids are reading on their own:

5. Fun: Let's face it, many of these YA books are big in the entertainment biz.  Just look at Harry Potter, Twilight and most recently, Hunger Games.  Reading some of these pop culture phenomenons along with your kids can offer up a fun experience for the whole family.  Last year, during the Hunger Games boom, so many kids were reading the series, we organized a field trip to the movie.  Nearly the entire 7th grade (300 kids) went and we had parents volunteering to chaperone like we had never had before.  While there was learning involved, the whole experience ended up more like a big celebration of pop culture and community building.

4. Conversation: For many adults, talking to teens feels like a litany of chores lists, commands and discipline.  Having a common book to talk about can lighten the mood a little and give both you and your child the chance to practice having adult conversations.  Book talk can eliminate the threat of judgement and "personal" topics, allowing both kids and parents to let down their guard a bit.

3. Support: Reading, even fiction novels, is essential for learning.  As the readers age and become more and more complex, so does the structure, vocabulary and content of the books written for them.  To help students access the new levels of reading and analysis, they need help.  They need to hear conversations about the books, they need to hear a broader vocabulary and they need to develop an understanding of the content of the novel.  Even the most informal of conversations about the text can boost their engagement and encourage them to pursue the outcome of a more challenging story.

2. Bonding: Even if you aren't entertained by the books your teen is reading, there is this unspoken bond that happens between people who have read the same book, as if only they share secrets the author has whispered.  Reading these books also gives adults an inside look at the topics that interest, intrigue, confuse and fascinate their developing young adult.

1. Unsuspected Surveillance: Odd as it may seem, reading the same books as the teens in your life gives you an inside look into their world and may alert you to problems before they become tragedies.  With this one, you do have to use some caution and intelligence so you don't jump to conclusions.  Teens are naturally interested in drama, so the teen pregnancy stories and stories about drug abuse and such do not mean your child is involved in these activities.  However, being able to have those conversations mentioned in reason four will give you the open door you need if you suspect poor choices.  The best example I have of this actually inspired this blog post and comes from my best friend and her stepson.  I noticed he posted on his Facebook about someone creating a fake profile with the name Hannah Baker and talking about people from school.  Immediately, I was alarmed and able to message both him and my friend about handling the situation carefully.  See, in the book Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, Hannah Baker is a character who committed suicide and left her suicide note in the form of thirteen tapes to be passed along between the thirteen people she felt responsible for her choice.  A fact I knew because I had recently read the heart wrenching book.

Teens often hide "their world" from adults and believe no one will understand them.  They want to reach out and connect with us, but frequently don't know how.  They try using coded messages and actions like the Facebook incident above, hoping someone will pick up on the message and reach out to them.  Sharing the reading experience with them provides avenues for communication and trust that may not be there otherwise.  Give it a try, ask your kids what they are reading, pick up a copy and join them.  Can't hurt.

Too busy Falling in Like

I am so sorry my dear readers!  I haven't abandoned you.  I have met someone and I am very busy falling in like with him.  He is incredible and I am rapturous.

Since my last post, I have submitted both a short story and a poem for publication to the Everyday people.  As of right now, the poem has been upgraded to in Process and the story is still in slush.  I am excited about having a second round at the In Process rank.  I know it isn't publication, but it still means someone is seeing SOMETHING in my writing.  I just have to figure out if I polish it up to meet what they want over there at Everyday or do I go with my writer gut and pursue other venues.  I mean, if they saw something at one place at one level, there is a chance someone else will see something as well.

I have created a timeline for my novel, but in all honesty, I am in too happy a place to get into character enough to write the scenes I am on.  Do any of you ever have this problem?

What do you do when you lose interest in finishing your work because your real life is so damn good and distracting?

I know I will get back on track, but how?  I'll keep you posted about the Everyday submissions.

See ya for now.  Stay groovy!!

Book Review: Matched by Ally Condie

Like many reviewers, the gorgeous cover of Matched pulled me in. I've had quite a few students say they kind of, sort of liked the book but that it was slow. Still, I had to read it. 

Personally, I enjoyed the book very much. The Society fascinated me and the energy and spirit of Cassia inspired me as well. The concept of choices and being led to believe that your life is ideal when you don't have to make them is curious. How many times have we all felt that way when we were overwhelmed and exasperated? Condie's use of that feeling to build a Society where you get exactly that is unique and well done.

In the beginning, I was so upset with Casia's grandfather for planting the seed of doubt about the Society in her happy, young mind. What really makes him any different from the Society--manipulating her thoughts and feelings through suggestion? 

When you step back and look at the interactions between all the characters and Cassia, you begin to think about our own society--how "free" are we really? Are our thoughts and actions truly a result of free will, or are we all unknowingly "going gently"? 

The love triangle is compelling (using a bit of the law of "bad boy" attraction that so many women understand). I haven't yet decided if I'm team Ky or team Xander. 

Well done Ally Condie. You have definitely made me think while entertaining me as well!!

BuNoWriMo and Changing my Stars

Wow!  I have come such a long way.  As of now it is midnight.  Officially June 1st.  I am now going to start my first WriMo Challenge.  And, of course, because it is me, I am being a rebel right off the bat because I already have 26xxx words written.  The challenge is to write 50xxx.  Here's where I stand with that:  I am finishing the rough draft of my first novel this month.  Whether that means writing another 50k or not really doesn't matter.  And I am OK with this.

I've done some sprints with my friend and writing buddy, Nova Lovette and loved it.  I also found a Facebook group that is set up just for sprints.  Perfect.  Nova clued me in on a webinar type thingy...and I watched an author go through her process of outlining using post-it notes.  I LOVE her ideas and have bought my post-its, so I am ready to go--as soon as I go back to Wal-Mart and buy the whiteboard I knew I should have bought today :-(

I've found my voice, my spine, my grit.  Had a poem rejected from Everyday Poets.  Well, their loss.  They seem to prefer a tighter rhyme and meter and I'm more of a free verse style poet.  No loss to me.  I have other poems that fit what they are looking for.  But, unlike my previous rejection, I am not set back or really all that disappointed.  I know my poem is good and will fit somewhere.  Just not there.  And I am OK with that too.

This trend of finding my voice in my writing and publishing adventures, is translating into my personal life too.  I have always been the type of person who accepts everyone and excuses their mistakes even when they are "crimes against me".  I don't like to call people out for doing things that hurt or bother me.  It makes me feel guilty for hurting them even though they were in the wrong.  This has landed me in more than enough sticky situations as you can imagine.

Well, this week alone, I asked a dear friend to please try and refrain from drunk dialing me if at all possible, told my ex that I was not discussing something that was none of his business and did not let someone else's inappropriate decision bring me down with them.  (I swear, reading this it sounds like I have some great people in my life...lol!  Just one of those weeks I guess.)  Guess what.  The only one who was offended was the last one, and that is because he was called out for his decision and embarrassed--and not someone I ever wanted in my life, but we can't choose all of those who impact us.  Everyone else was respectful about my space and privacy.  I didn't have to compromise myself and didn't have to be mean.  I just had to express what I wanted and let it go.  It feels so good to be finding myself.

I wouldn't be in this position without my writing.  As my character is experiencing this same phenomenon, it seems we are growing together.  Writing truly can be a healing process.  That being said...can't wait to see who I am at the end of this month...after I have changed my stars and become an author who has "finished" a novel.

A Man Can Change His Stars: A Knight's Tale

Project Management

Tuesday I debuted on YA Warehouse and, so far, I am pleased with the responses on my social network platforms.  I've seen several RTs on Twitter and some Likes on Facebook.  I also gained a few followers on my personal blog here.  Thank you to you, my supporters!!  You all truly encourage me to continue.  And, just so you know, unlike on this blog, I can't see the traffic over at YA, so unless you leave a comment, I won't know you visited.

One visitor left me a bit of her amazing story of how she deferred her dreams in fashion design until just recently.  One can tell from her story, she is an incredible soul.  And reading her comment really got me thinking, I wonder if I could collect stories like her's from around the world--through social media channels--and create an anthology.  Off my mind went, spinning like a child just learning the joys of making yourself dizzy.

Just as the dizzy set in, I remembered motion sickness and stopped mid-spin.  See, I read/watched the vlog one of my counterparts, Nova Lovette, posted on YA Warehouse last night.  She was discussing "shiny new ideas" and maintaining focus on your current WIP.  I started thinking about that, then I thought about Bird by Bird from Anne Lamott:


“Because this business of becoming conscious, of being a writer, is ultimately about asking yourself, How alive am I willing to be?” 
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

I had to think about Nova's question: What does a writer do with "shiny new ideas"?

How do you manage your writing projects?  (um, yeah...cause we all know we're really the ones in control of our projects, right?  ;-D ) Do you keep a writer's notebook so you can let the shine glimmer onto the pages, get out of your system as an infantile glow and then wait there maturing until you are ready to guide it?  Do you bottle it up and hope like heck that it'll still be there when you're ready?  How do writers deal with the onslaught of ideas when they actually do come?  How do we become the proverbial ants who stock up our "food" so we have it when the weather turns and there is none to be found elsewhere?  And, is this management, or lack thereof, truly the cause of those idea droughts we all fear?

Typically, I have cycled when it comes to my idea management.  Mostly, as an adult, I have not taken my ideas seriously and given them the time and respect they deserve.  I stuff them in the corners of my abyss and count on those ideas to come running back to me when I need them--to still love me after being carelessly rejected.  Less often, I have stopped, honored the thoughts, jotted them down in a safe place and taken the care to let them flow as they intend from my inner creator.  Even though I find I am more creative, productive and positive when I'm in the latter cycle, I still don't set myself up to practice getting the ideas out.

Now that I'm taking my writing more seriously, maybe it's time that I honor my thoughts.  Let the "shiny new ideas" sparkle in the sun a bit before gently placing them into a safe writer's notebook for another day.  Even the controversial rapper, Eminem does this--sort of!  No more games or self-detriment.  I want to be a writer.  I want to publish my heart and soul in ink.  It's time to manage my projects...

How do you manage your projects and your "shiny new ideas"?

Book Review: The Kite Runner

I have read very few Afghan books. In fact, other than this one, Three Cups of Tea is the only other book I have read with Afghanistan as a setting (and I have little to nothing I care to say about that one). The Kite Runner is, for sure, on my list as a favorite. 


Amir, a young and wealthy Afghan boy, describes life growing up in the Afghanistan of the 1970's and 80's. He grows up with his distant father, his family's servant and the servant boy, Hassan. The close age of the boys and the absence of their mothers are what bond the two young boys together. Despite their closeness, social norms still play a strong role in their relationship and Amir often toys with the lines between Hassan's friendship and servitude. Life for them is very simple and typical, with strong customs and traditions until one of these traditions leads them into a tragedy that brings forth doubt, secrets and fractures the tightly bonded group of men both young and old. 


A few short years after the boys share this secret, Russia invades Afghanistan and brings destruction to the country. Amir and his father escape to America and join many other refugees in the community where they begin to rebuild their lives. We see an adult Amir and his father discover one another as they grow older together and share the memories and the secrets of their Afghanistan and their lives. Amir discovers secrets of his father that will forever change his life. 


Khaled Hosseini writes such beautifully descriptive prose, bringing readers into the foreign world of the past. I was gripped by the former beauty of a country that I have only seen as a desolated war zone on television. These descriptions not only exposed the warm hearts of the characters, but of a people so misunderstood and misrepresented by the extremists shown on the news today. This is a crafted tale of humanity, love and courage that should be read by everyone. 

I'm Learning...

ROW 80 Goal Progress


Write 1,000 words on days I have no kids.  I've written about 2500 or so words in the past week!  I have to say, if it weren't for a mystery Tweep telling me to get my ass off of Twitter and write...well, my Zombie friend, let's just say thank you!  I am not only getting the hang of sitting down and letting the story flow, I am learning about my own process.  I learned that I can write one story line and research ideas and facts for the next.  I have also learned that I am more of a method writer--inserting myself into my characters when I write (see link later in post).  This makes it more difficult for me to write in small bursts because getting into and out of character is challenging.  Therefore, writing when I do not have the kids is even more important because then I am less likely to be interrupted.  Also, because of the way I write, having a second project going on is also important.  Sometimes, my characters get emotional and I can only write one or two scenes and then I need to quit.  If I have a second project...that I can research for or work out character sketches or some other planning or revising, then I can take a break from the writing but still be productive towards my goals.  Understanding that this is how I work has helped take so much pressure off.   


Attend Writer's Group on a regular basis.  This hasn't happened, but it hasn't happened for anyone in my group.  Meetings just haven't worked out.  I am meeting with the newly published author, Trish Stewart,  on Saturday at my hometown library for her book signing.  While there, the two of us are planning to discuss starting a writer's group there.  If that were to work, I would be so happy!  


Select/Revise/Submit entries on days I have the boys.  I have been working here, but mostly on researching for my next book idea.  I am waiting to hear about my first submission.  For some reason, I don't feel I can move forward until I know one way or another.  I know I will get past this feeling, but it will take a time or two before I jump into the publishing deep end.  Right now, I feel I am still developing as a writer and embracing the fact that I am finally allowing myself to be happy and do what it is I have always dreamed of.


Blog on Wednesdays.  At least it is once a week, right?  Oh, I did write a book review for the YA novel, AWAY by Teri Hall on Goodreads.  

Read one post on improving craft and develop my platform for an hour everyday.  This learning was fun this week.  I learned that I am a method writer from Derek Flynn at his blog, Rant, With Occasional Music   Then, I realized some harsh truths from my friend and fellow author, Shelli Johnson (Small as a Mustard Seed) as she blogged about numbers on her website, Shelli Johnson.  I have been using the numbers as both positive motivation and a distraction from the actual act of writing.  Now I am not competing against anyone but myself, but it is like some strategist game...if I unfollow this person and then follow this one, will I be able to get more followers?  I don't think there is anything wrong with this, except for the fact that I let it take away from my writing time.  I will be setting a timer for any Twitter or Facebook time during my work hours.  This way, I can't waste precious writing time.

ROW80 Check in and thoughts on Writer's Groups

I'm really doing this!  Wow, what a week I have had.  My blog was nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award and one blog post was picked up and given a shout out by another Tweep.  I have felt motivated and successful this week!  Yes, as Julie said on the ROW80 blog, things are trying to get in my way.  I'm doing my best to stay on track though.  One distraction I can do little about is my puppy.  She has decided she loves to run in the mud, come inside for an hour (so I have to towel her down) and then go back outside and do it again.  She must want me to join her because as she does this over and over all day long, she jumps on me and runs in circles around the table when she comes in!  I wish she would understand that all of this, while wildly fun and entertaining, is disrupting my writing flow.  Alas, she is only 7 months old and a dog, so I think I'm out of luck.  Other than that, I have done well.  With no kids this weekend, it was a big writing time for me.  Much of what I wrote was character development with some progress on my WIP.  I'm just shy of my 2,000 words for the two days I was sans kids, but well set up for Wednesday when I'm at it again.

I went to my writer's group (I'm fairly new to this particular group) and witnessed some critique challenges and writing insecurity.  This is not a pretty thing when you are in a group and can make for some tense moments among the group members.  For this reason, I found this Kristen Lamb's article both timely and thought provoking.  (I loved her book, We Are Not Alone.  If you have not checked out either her blog or her book, I strongly recommend both.)  While I do not believe I will leave the writing group (I need the accountability right now), I do think there is some balance that needs to be had as you consider the value of your particular group as well as your personal reason for attending a group.  Proceed with caution and a clear intent.

One article I would like to find is one about submitting your work to various places and how to decide which is the right place for each piece.  One of my goals is to select.revise and submit entries.  Well, today I looked at various sites that have contests and publication opportunities and I am feeling lost.  I have a few short stories, poems and flash fiction pieces that I would like to submit but have no clue which should go where.  What if I send it to one and it's rejected, but if I had only sent it to another one it would have been accepted?  How do you decide?  Where are the best places for beginning writers to submit their work?

Best of luck to all my fellow ROW80ers and #staygroovy

I'm Making Progress

WOW!  I am so excited about how I am doing on my goals.

• Write 1,000 words on days I have no kids. --I wrote an 800 word blog post, worked on the my current chapter and revised my 3rd chapter enough that I think I have made this one, today, the first day I had no kids.  I also made a contact that I can interview for character and plot development for my novel.
• Attend Writer's Group on a regular basis. --I went to WG last night and am planning to go to another one on Saturday.
• Select/Revise/Submit entries on days I have the boys. --I have a poem selected and a flash fiction as well.  I will be working on these tomorrow and choose where I want to send them.
• Blog on Wednesdays. --Here is where I have cheated a bit.  I have combined my word count for today with my blog writing.  This, people is why your goals have to be specific.  I implied that my 1,000 words would be work on my novel, but never said it had to be.  Eh, details and loopholes...I'll get there!  I have also done some book reviews on my blog, so those count too!
• Read one post on improving craft and develop my platform for an hour everyday. --I have slowly watched my Twitter followers increase, it's harder once you hit a follow limit.  Because of this, I have been focusing on building my Facebook platform.  I read a piece by Anne Lamott this week and a few other blog posts from fellow ROW80 writers.  This goal has proven to be the easiest to fulfill so far.  I also believe that my blog post for the week as well as my reviews on the YA books I read, help to establish my platform as a YA author.

Click here to read the Anne Lamott article about making time.

The feedback from everyone at ROW80 is so helpful.  I am trying to get to other participants to comment or at least follow their blogs for support.  Keep it up all!  We can do this!

Create your Pinocchio: Building a Person from Ideas

I don't know if it was because he was a boy or because I was creeped out by his growing nose and foolish mistakes, but as a kid I never liked Pinocchio.  So, I could never understand why Giuseppe would want him to become a real boy.  I mean who wants to deal with a pain in the ass, dishonest little kid who doesn't listen? (Thanks for putting up with me Mom.)  Giuseppe, much like a parent, did see something in Pinocchio; he saw a chance for his ideas to come to life.

Since committing to the transformation of my writing from hobby to career, I am beginning to understand Giuseppe better and wish Pinocchio could be truly real.  Because if he could be real, then my Kaitlin and Gracie could be real and we could hang out and talk just once.  I spend so much time developing them in my head and on my computer it's as if they are my children.  As I write, I can hear their voices and see through Kaitlin's eyes.  I feel their emotions and understand their thoughts.  Now, there is the chance that my meds quit working again, but I like to think I have gotten good at developing my characters.  At least that's what the people in my writing group let me believe (and that has nothing to do with the fact that they are with me in a small room at the end of a long hallway as they critique my work).

Last night, at writer's group, I was asked what I do to develop my characters.  I tried to answer this on the spot, but I was drowning in the flattery and really couldn't think about my process clearly enough to explain.  It seems I remember reading an article or chapter about character development that talked about interviewing your characters.  I am sure that works great...if you are good at asking questions.  I am not.

I tend to work more on intuition and this character sketch lesson I have taught to my 7th graders.  What are the habits of my characters?  Habits you wouldn’t explicitly write into the book, but that make them more human.  My character, Kaitlin, for example, is a Diet Coke addict.  It's a little thing, but anytime food is mentioned, you know she will have a Diet Coke--just like you know what your best friend would have to drink.  These little habits help readers connect to the characters more and brings fictional people to life.

Another way character can be developed is by writing notes on their back story and items they own.  My character, Kaitlin, was abandoned at the age of four, yet we know her birthday.  How is that?  I was going to brush it off as YA literary magic and hope my readers never wondered.  This deception kept me awake and I decided to ask the question myself.  Immediately, I found myself jotting notes about the items found with her in a backpack.  There is information in these items that give us her birth date.  However, these items also began to tell me who Kaitlin's parents were and in turn who she is.  Suddenly, I could see her as well as my own kids.

Finally, I think about what the characters look like and then I watch people when I am out.  I still haven't "seen" Kaitlin, but her adoptive mother I have seen.  I was sitting in a class one Saturday morning when instructor came in and it was clear, she was Gracie.  I knew it as soon as I saw her.  I don't think I could tell you much of what I learned in this class, but I have copious notes about her mannerisms and belief systems.

When building your characters, the best thing you can do is spend time with them.  Look for them in your day to day interactions.  During typical encounters ask yourself, what would my character do in this situation?  Then, weave these mundane daily actions and habits into the fabric of your fiction to add depth to who your character truly is.  Create your Pinocchio.

Book Review: Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

Something as simple as a change in seating charts and a new Biology lab partner, sends Nora's average teenage life into a confusing spiral as she tries to determine what is real and what is imagined.  She can no longer trust her feelings or her actions, especially where Patch is concerned.  Will she get a handle on her life, or is she perfectly sane and truly being followed by a violent psychopath?  Fast paced snappy dialogue drives the reader through this supernatural romantic drama. Experience the frustration of the protagonist as she tries to figure out why this new biology lab partner sends her senses for such a mental loop!

ROW80: Round 1 Goals

I have my goals for the year, but to achieve those, I have to break them down.  I am ready to meet this challenge head on, armed with a renewed sense of self and direction.  With my new marital status, I am also finding myself with peaceful visitation days.  I love my boys, but those days they are visiting their dad make for a silence I haven't had in a lifetime.  I plan to capitalize on the opportunity this gives me during this round.

Round 1 Goals:

Write 1,000 words on the days I have no kids.

Attend one of my Writer's Groups on a regular basis.

Select/ Revise/Submit entries on days I have the boys.

Blog on Wednesdays

Read one post on improving my craft and Connect on Twitter/Facebook/Goodreads for an hour everyday.

Breaking my bigger goals down should enable me to reach my larger goals that I have set for the year.  Cheer me on!

Bring on 2012 and Watch me Grow

With a new life opening before me, 2012 is going to be the year I rule MY world!  Far too long, I have repressed my inner self.  My writer!  I have made everyone and everything a priority above my most innate need.  My fellow writers understand, I'm sure, how strong the urge to write and relieve the build up of imagination within can be.  To have something to say and have it be heard is the ultimate in personal freedoms.

Let me be clear, nothing or no one prevented me from writing but me.  Internalizing so much of who I am has caused greater damage than any another person could inflict.  This is why I am taking back my life, freeing myself and inviting others to join in the self-development and healing that writing can bring.

During 2012, I have work to do.  Goals to reach:

Finish 1st novel (13,100 out of 36,000 words) 

Submit poetry and flash fiction entries once a month

Blog once a week

Continue to build my platform and brand

I could go on, but I've learned over the years, there is a need to limit goals to what can be managed alongside life.  Otherwise, I quit at the first setback because it feels like there's too much to catch up on.  WHEN I achieve these goals, I will set new ones.  So join me on this journey, learn with me, cheer me on, correct my mistakes, ignore my rants.  Just don't expect me to stop and go away, because I won't.  

Book Review: Small as a Mustard Seed by Shelli Johnson

Small as a Mustard Seed was like stepping into someone's life. The characters are gut-wrenchingly honest and so well written, you feel their pain, their struggle and their relief as they grow. As you watch the story unfold through the eyes of the older sister, you wonder what the others in the family are experiencing at first. However, as the story goes on, you realize that one perspective is enough because she is so observant and raw about what she sees and hears in her world. 


While the book is set in post-Korea and during the Vietnam era, Shelli Johnson's short emotionally packed book keeps us focused on the people so well that it could be happening at any time. These characters could be your neighbors, friends or family, you feel so close to what is happening in their lives and want to reach out to them. Despite their flaws (which make them so real) Shelli portrays each of them with great care and respect while painting a perfect portrait of living with PTSD. This is a definite must read!!


http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12086697-small-as-a-mustard-seed

Courage in the Face of Judgment

 Deciding on what kind of candy I need while I'm striving to reach the ambitious writing goal I set is difficult. (Come on now, we all know candy is a need not a want.)  This is an arduous thought process, this decision making stuff.  I mean, if I get the chocolate it might not be enough chocolate.  If I get the Laffy Taffy, I have to unwrap each one and then I would have to stop typing.  Wait, that might be good for my diet then.  Twizzlers don't come individually wrapped, so I can type and snack, but the kids will bother me because they want some too.  UGH!  Sound familiar?  Everyone makes choices in their life everyday.  Some are easier than others, but we all know what it is like to make a tough choice.  So why is it then, that we judge another person's decisions?

Almost daily, I see students, teachers, parents making decisions at break neck pace.  And just as fast, there is someone there judging these decisions and sharing their well-intended opinions.  With all of this immediate feedback it's no wonder decisions are tough.  Make the wrong one and the world will haunt you for it.  Make the right one and someone will tell you what you should have done differently.  What is it that makes us all forget the difficulty that goes into making decisions, deciding on the value of opportunity cost?

I just read a beautiful novel, As Small as a Mustard Seed, by Shelli Johnson.  I spent so much of the novel questioning the decisions of the mother in the story as I watched her through the eyes of her oldest daughter. She struggled with the cost of protecting family over protecting just the children.  For much of it, I was feeling the burns of old wounds I have because of my own mother's similar struggle.  Yet, as the story continues, Shelli allows us to see the family years later through the eyes of an adult daughter.  A daughter who has lived her own life away from the struggles at home and has a fresh perspective of her youth.  It is amazing how our opinions of some one's choices change with time, age, experience and perspective.

I mention this because I was feeling very stuck with the mother in my own novel.  I didn't like her.  Here I am creating this woman, and I'm disgusted by her and her choices.  No matter how I tried to write her, I struggled because I felt wrong making her likable now when her choices as a younger mother were appalling.  Reading Shelli's novel helped me see that perspective and life experience are the things that make it OK to change our opinions of the decisions people in our lives make.  She helped me see that I NEED to work through writing this character because I NEED to work through these issues in my own life as well.  I need to remember to respect the courage it takes to make a decision, while well aware of the judgments you are facing.

What Makes a Family?

As I write my first novel, I've thought a great deal about family.  Growing up in a family of four, (mom, dad, younger brother and myself), I thought I knew what family meant.  I mean, we had it all didn't we?  The three bedroom house, two cars, two dogs, two cats and all the Christmas lights a kid could ever remember wanting.  Family is picking on your little brother so much he cries and the very next moment he is sticking up for you to the neighborhood bully.  Then an hour later, he and the same bully are caught reading your diary in your room so you beat them both up.  Family is a mom and a dad going to work during the day, home in the evenings, t-ball and softball games, backyard BBQ and camping with neighbors.  Or is it?

Now as my family is crumbling and I am experiencing my own battle with the infamous plague of families--divorce.  I find I am learning what family is and what it is not.  I'm realizing that family, as I have come to learn it, is a sham.  None of the previously mentioned experiences mean anything without love.  It seems that so often we equate family to numbers, 2.5 kids, $84,000 average net worth, 2 parents, 4 grandparents and so on.  Where is the love number?  

Based on the average income of divorce lawyers ($48,353-$77,968 annually, PayScale.com, May 2011), it may seem to some that the love number has a dollar sign attached to it.  I know there are days when I look at those red numbers jumping from my online banking statement and think the same thing; especially this time of year.  Despair starts to take over, but then, one of my boys asks me for help with something or shares a story with me about a friend at school who may be moving away.  Smack!  Back in reality, I can clearly see that how much spending money one has does not equate love.  And not only can I see it; it is obvious that my boys somehow instinctively know this better than most adults.  Sure they ask for things, but they know those things do not mean I love them.  

Love, I am learning, also is not measured in increments of 60 or by 30-31 boxes on a calendar.  Nope, you won't find any measure of the love that constitutes a family on the clock or calendar on your wall.  Go ahead and fill your days with times and places, events and people.  Let me know if this brings you love.  As my children are learning how to actually "spend time with" their parents, especially Dad, it is becoming painfully obvious that love is not measured by time.  Sure, they get excited about seeing Dad.  They talk incessantly when he comes over for his Wednesday night visit--for about a half hour.  After that, they are back to iPods, video games or just hanging in their rooms.  They aren't upset when he is late because of traffic or leaves early because they are ignoring him.  For the kids, time does not equate love.

Ask any adult what their two most valuable liquid assets are and most will tell you time and money.  Ask any child, and it's love (maybe candy, but this is not about candy, so we will just ignore Matthew's response).  They feel their best when they know they are loved.  The best part is, the love doesn't even have to come from their parents (thank goodness, right?).  Just look at all the adopted, step and orphaned children that manage to find one adult to love them no matter what.  These kids are able to become contributing adults, go on to love and build their own families.  Kids are better at "family" than adults are.  Kids thrive on love!  

Next time you see any size group of people, regardless of the combination of race, creed, gender or age, look in their eyes.  Is there love?  Is there an ebb and flow of sacrifice and contribution?  Is there a comfort level that accepts successes and mistakes?  That is a family.  You don't need to know how long they have known each other or what country the baby is adopted from.  No numbers, no statistics, no averages.  None of that matters.  Love, love makes them a family.