5 Reasons Adults Should Read with Teenagers

Remember that feeling of picking out a stack of books, running to the most obliging adult, and begging them to read you a story?  Then there is that warm, tingly feeling you still have when you see a book from elementary school--one of those the teacher read to the class as we all lost ourselves in an imaginary world for a bit. Reading is one of those common experiences we all share.  It is entertainment, education and promotes bonding. We begin experiencing reading even before we can do it by ourselves.  By middle and high school, something happens though.  No longer do we look forward to those "class books" and those shared moments.  Why is this?  What changed?

Well, here's what I see everyday in my job as a 7th grade English teacher.  My middle school students can all tell me about a book sharing experience that brings out a smile, however, these experiences are few and far between after 5th grade.  Frequently, parents ask me what books their child should be reading.  That one is easy to answer.   Too often, parents ask what book their child IS reading and each time I answer, I am sure to include a reason or two for a parent to pick up a book with their child.

Here are my top five reasons adults should continue to read with the teens in their lives, well after the kids are reading on their own:

5. Fun: Let's face it, many of these YA books are big in the entertainment biz.  Just look at Harry Potter, Twilight and most recently, Hunger Games.  Reading some of these pop culture phenomenons along with your kids can offer up a fun experience for the whole family.  Last year, during the Hunger Games boom, so many kids were reading the series, we organized a field trip to the movie.  Nearly the entire 7th grade (300 kids) went and we had parents volunteering to chaperone like we had never had before.  While there was learning involved, the whole experience ended up more like a big celebration of pop culture and community building.

4. Conversation: For many adults, talking to teens feels like a litany of chores lists, commands and discipline.  Having a common book to talk about can lighten the mood a little and give both you and your child the chance to practice having adult conversations.  Book talk can eliminate the threat of judgement and "personal" topics, allowing both kids and parents to let down their guard a bit.

3. Support: Reading, even fiction novels, is essential for learning.  As the readers age and become more and more complex, so does the structure, vocabulary and content of the books written for them.  To help students access the new levels of reading and analysis, they need help.  They need to hear conversations about the books, they need to hear a broader vocabulary and they need to develop an understanding of the content of the novel.  Even the most informal of conversations about the text can boost their engagement and encourage them to pursue the outcome of a more challenging story.

2. Bonding: Even if you aren't entertained by the books your teen is reading, there is this unspoken bond that happens between people who have read the same book, as if only they share secrets the author has whispered.  Reading these books also gives adults an inside look at the topics that interest, intrigue, confuse and fascinate their developing young adult.

1. Unsuspected Surveillance: Odd as it may seem, reading the same books as the teens in your life gives you an inside look into their world and may alert you to problems before they become tragedies.  With this one, you do have to use some caution and intelligence so you don't jump to conclusions.  Teens are naturally interested in drama, so the teen pregnancy stories and stories about drug abuse and such do not mean your child is involved in these activities.  However, being able to have those conversations mentioned in reason four will give you the open door you need if you suspect poor choices.  The best example I have of this actually inspired this blog post and comes from my best friend and her stepson.  I noticed he posted on his Facebook about someone creating a fake profile with the name Hannah Baker and talking about people from school.  Immediately, I was alarmed and able to message both him and my friend about handling the situation carefully.  See, in the book Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, Hannah Baker is a character who committed suicide and left her suicide note in the form of thirteen tapes to be passed along between the thirteen people she felt responsible for her choice.  A fact I knew because I had recently read the heart wrenching book.

Teens often hide "their world" from adults and believe no one will understand them.  They want to reach out and connect with us, but frequently don't know how.  They try using coded messages and actions like the Facebook incident above, hoping someone will pick up on the message and reach out to them.  Sharing the reading experience with them provides avenues for communication and trust that may not be there otherwise.  Give it a try, ask your kids what they are reading, pick up a copy and join them.  Can't hurt.

Book Review: Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

Something as simple as a change in seating charts and a new Biology lab partner, sends Nora's average teenage life into a confusing spiral as she tries to determine what is real and what is imagined.  She can no longer trust her feelings or her actions, especially where Patch is concerned.  Will she get a handle on her life, or is she perfectly sane and truly being followed by a violent psychopath?  Fast paced snappy dialogue drives the reader through this supernatural romantic drama. Experience the frustration of the protagonist as she tries to figure out why this new biology lab partner sends her senses for such a mental loop!

Book Review: Deadline by Chris Crutcher

Chris Crutcher's novel, Deadline provides readers with a fresh look at teenagers and drama.  The main character is funny and even a bit snarky (especially when it comes to his opinion of the education he's being offered) but not so over the top that you find him annoying.  His courage as he faces death and the experiences he allows himself because of his choice not to tell, leave you wondering what you would do if you found out a similar fate.

Especially endearing is his relationships with others in the book.  There is not one character on the book that is left out of Ben's connections.  He manages to reach everyone, in one way or another, with his message about living life one day at a time.

A compelling read, with a powerful message.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/275844.Deadline

Courage in the Face of Judgment

 Deciding on what kind of candy I need while I'm striving to reach the ambitious writing goal I set is difficult. (Come on now, we all know candy is a need not a want.)  This is an arduous thought process, this decision making stuff.  I mean, if I get the chocolate it might not be enough chocolate.  If I get the Laffy Taffy, I have to unwrap each one and then I would have to stop typing.  Wait, that might be good for my diet then.  Twizzlers don't come individually wrapped, so I can type and snack, but the kids will bother me because they want some too.  UGH!  Sound familiar?  Everyone makes choices in their life everyday.  Some are easier than others, but we all know what it is like to make a tough choice.  So why is it then, that we judge another person's decisions?

Almost daily, I see students, teachers, parents making decisions at break neck pace.  And just as fast, there is someone there judging these decisions and sharing their well-intended opinions.  With all of this immediate feedback it's no wonder decisions are tough.  Make the wrong one and the world will haunt you for it.  Make the right one and someone will tell you what you should have done differently.  What is it that makes us all forget the difficulty that goes into making decisions, deciding on the value of opportunity cost?

I just read a beautiful novel, As Small as a Mustard Seed, by Shelli Johnson.  I spent so much of the novel questioning the decisions of the mother in the story as I watched her through the eyes of her oldest daughter. She struggled with the cost of protecting family over protecting just the children.  For much of it, I was feeling the burns of old wounds I have because of my own mother's similar struggle.  Yet, as the story continues, Shelli allows us to see the family years later through the eyes of an adult daughter.  A daughter who has lived her own life away from the struggles at home and has a fresh perspective of her youth.  It is amazing how our opinions of some one's choices change with time, age, experience and perspective.

I mention this because I was feeling very stuck with the mother in my own novel.  I didn't like her.  Here I am creating this woman, and I'm disgusted by her and her choices.  No matter how I tried to write her, I struggled because I felt wrong making her likable now when her choices as a younger mother were appalling.  Reading Shelli's novel helped me see that perspective and life experience are the things that make it OK to change our opinions of the decisions people in our lives make.  She helped me see that I NEED to work through writing this character because I NEED to work through these issues in my own life as well.  I need to remember to respect the courage it takes to make a decision, while well aware of the judgments you are facing.

Who Was Your Favorite Teacher?

Picture that kid, sitting in class.  The one who is either sleeping or constantly making inappropriate comments.  The one walking around the halls like they are "too cool for school" and looking for a fight.  What's he wearing?  (Come on now, you know you pictured a boy.)  How many times have you written him up?  How many times have you called home with no results?  What does he smell like?  What does he like to do during his free time?  Wait, what do you mean you don't know what he likes to do?  Is that because we all know this is the kid we are going to see on the news someday?  Is that why you haven't even tried to get to know him?

Chapter 2 of Adolescent Literacy, titled "Flying Blind" is written by novelist Chris Crutcher and should be read by every teacher at the beginning and end of everyday. In his chapter, he reminds us who is in our classrooms and what they bring with them. He states, "Favorite teachers save lives."

I have to say, from personal experience, this is true. I had a few teachers in my life who, for no other reason, were my favorites because of a look, or a well wish about my personal life. The ones that proved that they SAW me and knew I needed a nudge or a reassurance are the ones I remember. I remember them more than the grades I got or the things I learned. I also have a life lasting love for those subjects and a greater confidence in my abilities in those classes. How many English teachers can say they LOVE chemistry? I can, all because of Mr. Wilson. He just knew when I wasn't OK and his guitar playing while we worked made it better every time. I'm sure it wasn't all for me, but he had a way of making sure he checked in on you when your body language suggested you were not OK.

He is just one of many that I learned from and try to emulate as I teach in my room. In years past it has been successful...this year, my focus was wrong. This year, my focus was on school (Masters program) and data. It shows in the motivation and relationships in the classroom. It hurts. I find myself wanting to loop, just so I get the chance to "get it right" and make a positive impact in my kids. They deserve better than they got from me this year. Chris Crutcher's article will be read many times by me.

This book seems to be a must read for every teacher, regardless of the content you teach. It reminds you that the kids are the puzzle, not the GLE's and the best way to get the test scores you want.

Who were your favorite teachers and why?