Hello
Christine Benson,
Thank you for your submission to Red Fez. We know that you put a lot of time and effort into your submission, so we appreciate you thinking of us. Right or wrong, we have decided against using your work in our next issue. (Polite, direct and to the point.)
Thank you for your submission to Red Fez. We know that you put a lot of time and effort into your submission, so we appreciate you thinking of us. Right or wrong, we have decided against using your work in our next issue. (Polite, direct and to the point.)
You indicated you wanted to receive feedback on your submission. Since you put
the effort into submitting to us, we feel you deserve an explanation for our
decision. There's nothing worse than submitting to a publication and learning
nothing from the process. Here is the raw feedback from our editors: (Standing by their word)
Feedback from 2 editors:
Discovering invisibility
1) in the first 2 paragraphs, there is a serious overabundance of the words: flames, brats, beds/bed, and grease. I think some synonyms would do wonders for the redundant use of said words.(Fair enough, I tend to overuse words and I should have caught that. Rookie mistake.) it's a somewhat confusing how many people are involved here because she refers to everyone involved as the boys, she and marie e.t.c. this sentence in particular could have been better: (Too many pronouns. Ok, well this is probably also valid as I struggled with identifying the speaker a bit due to the personal similarities that brought out embarrassment. Lesson learned: Go for it. Don't hold back. Readers don't automatically think the event happened to you when it is labeled as fiction. And if they do think that, then you must have a strong protagonist.)
For years they had been all getting together and drinking and nothing like this had ever happened before.
get rid of the all, no need for that. i haven't even mentioned how generic some of these metaphors are:
She robotically, handed him another beer, pausing to watch the cold tear of sweat running down the bottle; the slight tremble of excitement causing it to drip on her hand.
robotically? like mechanized? ugh, me no likee. (Ok, I have to admit, this one hurt. I especially liked that line, I felt this line. So why did I like it? I've had to think about this one a lot. This has been a big part of my task avoidance and self-doubt. My peer group gushed over this line and the imagery. I felt it, because at this point, I was going for it, mixing the real experience with the fiction. However, because I hadn't gone for it before, hadn't let the reader SEE my protagonist and how much the proceeding experience affected her, the reader couldn't feel what I felt.
2) Not terrible, but it doesn't seem like a fit for the Fez. (Fair enough...this happens. I need to get better at analyzing the places I am submitting.) This reminds me of the submission about a group of middle aged couples awkwardly watching porno movies together. In fact at first i thought it was the same piece. Is my mom sending these in under different pen names? (Really? Is this comment necessary? How am I learning from this? This genre was a risk for me anyway. I have to admit, I am now gun shy about sharing anything like this piece again. Any ideas on how this can help me grow?)
Having said that, we're just one publication with one opinion. In the end we can't help but publish what we like. We could be wrong about your piece and it wouldn't be the first time. We thank you for giving us the opportunity to look at this piece - we appreciate it - and wish you best of luck in finding a suitable publisher for your work. (In fact, check out our Friends of Fez page for a list of other publishers that may be interested in your work!). We hope you'll continue to consider Red Fez in the future. (Thanks for being open and honest. I appreciate the way they left the door open for me. That makes it all feel better...it honestly does, no sarcasm at all.)
Artistically yours,
The Red Fez Editorial Team
Feedback from 2 editors:
Discovering invisibility
1) in the first 2 paragraphs, there is a serious overabundance of the words: flames, brats, beds/bed, and grease. I think some synonyms would do wonders for the redundant use of said words.(Fair enough, I tend to overuse words and I should have caught that. Rookie mistake.) it's a somewhat confusing how many people are involved here because she refers to everyone involved as the boys, she and marie e.t.c. this sentence in particular could have been better: (Too many pronouns. Ok, well this is probably also valid as I struggled with identifying the speaker a bit due to the personal similarities that brought out embarrassment. Lesson learned: Go for it. Don't hold back. Readers don't automatically think the event happened to you when it is labeled as fiction. And if they do think that, then you must have a strong protagonist.)
For years they had been all getting together and drinking and nothing like this had ever happened before.
get rid of the all, no need for that. i haven't even mentioned how generic some of these metaphors are:
She robotically, handed him another beer, pausing to watch the cold tear of sweat running down the bottle; the slight tremble of excitement causing it to drip on her hand.
robotically? like mechanized? ugh, me no likee. (Ok, I have to admit, this one hurt. I especially liked that line, I felt this line. So why did I like it? I've had to think about this one a lot. This has been a big part of my task avoidance and self-doubt. My peer group gushed over this line and the imagery. I felt it, because at this point, I was going for it, mixing the real experience with the fiction. However, because I hadn't gone for it before, hadn't let the reader SEE my protagonist and how much the proceeding experience affected her, the reader couldn't feel what I felt.
2) Not terrible, but it doesn't seem like a fit for the Fez. (Fair enough...this happens. I need to get better at analyzing the places I am submitting.) This reminds me of the submission about a group of middle aged couples awkwardly watching porno movies together. In fact at first i thought it was the same piece. Is my mom sending these in under different pen names? (Really? Is this comment necessary? How am I learning from this? This genre was a risk for me anyway. I have to admit, I am now gun shy about sharing anything like this piece again. Any ideas on how this can help me grow?)
Having said that, we're just one publication with one opinion. In the end we can't help but publish what we like. We could be wrong about your piece and it wouldn't be the first time. We thank you for giving us the opportunity to look at this piece - we appreciate it - and wish you best of luck in finding a suitable publisher for your work. (In fact, check out our Friends of Fez page for a list of other publishers that may be interested in your work!). We hope you'll continue to consider Red Fez in the future. (Thanks for being open and honest. I appreciate the way they left the door open for me. That makes it all feel better...it honestly does, no sarcasm at all.)
Artistically yours,
The Red Fez Editorial Team
Over the past week, I have contemplated this letter and reread it many times. I went back over the piece of writing I had submitted and made some corrections based on their feedback. I even took some time for myself to feel the sting and disappointment of being rejected. Once I was ready to stop crying in my orange juice, I had to work my way back on track.
5 Things I did in response to my rejection...
1. I didn't stop completely. I wrote some poems for myself. I wrote about 400 words on my WIP (admittedly with the creep of self-doubt). I scribbled an idea here and there from my dreams.
2. I shared my experience with friends, family, writing peers and even my 7th grade students. Talking through the rejection helped me bring perspective to it.
3. I read a book, for fun. Not a trade book about improving my writing, just a novel.
4. I opened my blog several times, knowing I wasn't going to write but needing to remind myself how new I am and how much I want this.
5. I read tweets, blogs and status updates from fellow writers, published and aspiring. We all struggle sometimes. How we respond to that struggle seems to be what separates the successes from the failures.
So, here I am. Feeling like somewhat of an embattled veteran and picking myself up to carry on. I have great supporters out there (and more clearly identified them by sharing my struggle). I still have the drive to move ahead and work for my dream. I'm putting myself back on my ROW80 goals. Writing will go on and I will grow from this experience. Now, what I'm wondering...what was your first time like?
