Project Management

Tuesday I debuted on YA Warehouse and, so far, I am pleased with the responses on my social network platforms.  I've seen several RTs on Twitter and some Likes on Facebook.  I also gained a few followers on my personal blog here.  Thank you to you, my supporters!!  You all truly encourage me to continue.  And, just so you know, unlike on this blog, I can't see the traffic over at YA, so unless you leave a comment, I won't know you visited.

One visitor left me a bit of her amazing story of how she deferred her dreams in fashion design until just recently.  One can tell from her story, she is an incredible soul.  And reading her comment really got me thinking, I wonder if I could collect stories like her's from around the world--through social media channels--and create an anthology.  Off my mind went, spinning like a child just learning the joys of making yourself dizzy.

Just as the dizzy set in, I remembered motion sickness and stopped mid-spin.  See, I read/watched the vlog one of my counterparts, Nova Lovette, posted on YA Warehouse last night.  She was discussing "shiny new ideas" and maintaining focus on your current WIP.  I started thinking about that, then I thought about Bird by Bird from Anne Lamott:


“Because this business of becoming conscious, of being a writer, is ultimately about asking yourself, How alive am I willing to be?” 
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

I had to think about Nova's question: What does a writer do with "shiny new ideas"?

How do you manage your writing projects?  (um, yeah...cause we all know we're really the ones in control of our projects, right?  ;-D ) Do you keep a writer's notebook so you can let the shine glimmer onto the pages, get out of your system as an infantile glow and then wait there maturing until you are ready to guide it?  Do you bottle it up and hope like heck that it'll still be there when you're ready?  How do writers deal with the onslaught of ideas when they actually do come?  How do we become the proverbial ants who stock up our "food" so we have it when the weather turns and there is none to be found elsewhere?  And, is this management, or lack thereof, truly the cause of those idea droughts we all fear?

Typically, I have cycled when it comes to my idea management.  Mostly, as an adult, I have not taken my ideas seriously and given them the time and respect they deserve.  I stuff them in the corners of my abyss and count on those ideas to come running back to me when I need them--to still love me after being carelessly rejected.  Less often, I have stopped, honored the thoughts, jotted them down in a safe place and taken the care to let them flow as they intend from my inner creator.  Even though I find I am more creative, productive and positive when I'm in the latter cycle, I still don't set myself up to practice getting the ideas out.

Now that I'm taking my writing more seriously, maybe it's time that I honor my thoughts.  Let the "shiny new ideas" sparkle in the sun a bit before gently placing them into a safe writer's notebook for another day.  Even the controversial rapper, Eminem does this--sort of!  No more games or self-detriment.  I want to be a writer.  I want to publish my heart and soul in ink.  It's time to manage my projects...

How do you manage your projects and your "shiny new ideas"?

The Payoff of Taking a Chance

I have always been one to play it safe when it comes to making important decisions.  Not the “What should I do this weekend?” kind of decisions, but big decisions like “What should I be when I grow up and how much education will I need for that?”  For as long as I can remember, I have been scared of feeling pigeon-holed in a job or career I couldn’t stand or one that leaves me unable to support my family.  (I mean, choosing the wrong path is not a small mistake!)

Choosing a career path costs time and money, and neither are refundable.  This is not something I felt I could afford to screw up.  Just out of high school, I thought I might want to go into nursing.  I got a job at a hospital while pursuing my general-ed courses.  Thank goodness too, because about two years in, I saw this 10 year old boy who broke his arm skateboarding.  His arm zigzagged in the most unnatural way and I almost got sick.  It was the weirdest thing.  After all I had seen, (blood, guts and mucus) nothing had bothered me yet, but this kid and his twisted bones had me dropping my entire course load for the next semester.

I had no Plan B, so I enlisted in the Air Force until I could figure out my path in life.  My parents' marriage was falling apart and so were my morals as I quickly approached my 21st birthday.  My hope was the military would finish raising me.  And raise me it did, until Plan B dropped itself right into my heart and I felt an inclination to start a family.  Since the military didn't fit with my new family plan, I sought a medical discharge— I was pregnant— and pretended I was a real grown up.

The problem was I still had no career.  I also didn't like the idea of leaving my baby with strangers.  My extensive babysitting experiences led me to explore working in daycare.  After a few years there, one of the parents said to me, "Why not go to school?  Time is going to pass you by no matter what.  Where do you want to be in two years?  Here, with everything unchanged except your age or here with a raise and an associate’s degree in education?  No one can take knowledge away from you."

I thought about the risk involved in picking one degree area.  Scary stuff to think about.  What if I tried, spent all that time and money and found out I wasn't smart enough to teach?  Then I realized, I was already teaching.  I was teaching at daycare and I was teaching my son.  So, I took the chance; going to school could only make me better.  While I was there, I learned a few things about myself:  I am excellent at teaching.  Writing brings pure bliss—even papers for school.  And, hey, I like to read this YA stuff.  Taking this opportunity is how I found my Plan C (C for calling).  Teaching middle school reading and writing just feels natural. 

But I have since learned that taking chances can't apply only to choosing a career path.  Taking chances HAS TO translate into everything you do in life.  Every venture that comes your way has to be honestly explored with self-confidence.  That's where you find happiness.  That's where you find the people who are most like you and who will support you.  

I am taking a new chance now thanks to those wonderful supporters and a little bit of faith in myself.  I'm taking a chance with my writing.  I can be something with it.  I can make a difference.  In taking that gamble, I find myself with a new opportunity: I am becoming a member of the YA Warehouse blog, sharing my experience with you.  Please join me there on Tuesdays.  Share with me in return?  What is your journey?  What dreams are you deferring?  

I will also maintain this blog...at least to the level I have so far eh-heh-hem... but on Tuesdays, you will find my posts at YA Warehouse with 3 other fabulous authors.  Please click on the banner below to follow me in both places.

Zombie-hood Awakened my Inner Unicorn

My boring, day to day life has changed drastically in the past 4 months.  I have become a divorced parent, single again for the first time in 16 years and a zombie.  No, not a zombie because I am so tired from being the custodial parent to two rapidly growing boys and a puppy.  Not a zombie because I am a middle school teacher in the last trimester of the school year when EVERYTHING seems to happen.  And not a zombie because I have decided that in my “free time” I am going to explore my latent writing talents by maintaining a blog and actually finishing the book I started to write.  I mean, I literally became a zombie extra on the set of an 88mm Productions film titled The Sound of Nothing.

A little venting on Facebook was the catalyst to my plunge into the world of the undead and self-acceptance.

“So tired and crabby!!! Definitely more zombie than unicorn today!!!! Ugh! Cold weather not helping.” 

My friend and fellow teacher, Carol Eubanks-Riccardi responded to my status update with information about a movie production in which her daughter was participating.  They needed volunteers for zombie extras.  Before continuing, I have to tell you a bit about my previous acting and zombie experience.  Other than my day job (every teacher is an actor of sorts) I have no acting experience.  I avoid cameras unless I have put effort into make-up and hair.  Even then, I avoid anything other than a headshot.  My body is a sore subject for me.  My experience with zombies involves half watching TV shows and movies that my ex-husband wanted to watch.  I hated them.  They were gross, predictable and pointless.  Plus, he liked them.  He would have died at the chance to play a zombie and now I had that very opportunity.  This bit of revenge and the chance at meeting new people, while redefining myself, fueled my decision to join the cast.

I didn’t ask anything but when, where and can I bring a friend, which made the first shoot a bit of a surprise, but no less memorable.  I threw insecurities aside and thrust myself into an abandoned YMCA in Granite City, Illinois at 7am in below freezing weather.  The building had no heat, no running water and the electricity consisted of extension cords run from the few working outlets.  Zombie-hood was not starting out pleasant, but it quickly grew on me.  From the moment we arrived, everyone was welcoming.  We were given a bloody, shredded wardrobe and make-up from a professional make-up artist.   Then we explored the creepy, decaying building and learned what to expect from the day.  We were fed and watered and even taught a little bit about the film making process.  The day was long, but pretty incredible despite freezing.  But that is not why I came back three more times.

Something about becoming a zombie is addicting.  Maybe, it’s the fact that you spend a day looking your absolute worst and being proud of it.  Maybe, it’s the fact that you have to throw your inhibitions out the window, make inappropriate noises and walk like an injured drunk along with a group of strangers doing the same.  Maybe, it was the fact that we had to go to McDonald’s, QuikTrip and the library to use public restrooms while in costume (and sometimes character).  I’m not exactly sure what it is, but if I had to bet, I would say it is the people and the relationships built with those people during my zombie-hood.

My fellow zombies and the cast and crew for The Sound of Nothing couldn’t have been a more incredible group of people.  Despite the unaccommodating conditions of the abandoned building, everyone was kind, compassionate and hilarious.  Facebook friending was on the up and zombie jokes flying.  We sat, huddled on an old couch in the lobby of the building, sharing bits of our lives with one another in between takes.  We were interviewed for behind the scenes (while in character) and asked about the secret lives of zombies; a task that I found difficult on that first shoot due to my lack of confidence when it came to zombie knowledge.  Pictures were taken at every interval of the day both informally on camera phones and formally on high resolution cameras.  The day was so much more than I could have imagined.  I had to do it again to make sure it was real.

It wasn’t.  In fact, returning to set, alone this time, was even better than the first.  The cast and crew knew my name.  They were happy to see me return.  Despite the flurry with which they worked during my first day on set and all the filming they had done in the three months since, the people from 88mm remembered me and took the time to greet me with smiles.  I was floored at their ease.  Between shots, we connected over inclinations of supernatural happenings in the building, hobbies, histories and even writing.  This time, when interviewed for behind the scenes, I felt comfortable.  I became more confident as I realized acceptance didn’t come from my common knowledge of zombies, but how I could uniquely characterize them.  This freedom to be myself led to my declaration of the guidelines for building a zombie army as well as the embrace of my imagination’s return.  During the shoots, there was dancing between takes, watching out for each other’s safety and celebrations as we got the shot the director was going for.  Sharing the experience of turning an imagined world into a real one somehow bonds people together.

I participated in filming a total of four times.  Despite long days of shooting, the whole experience went way too fast.  I found myself wanting to know more about what this movie making business is all about.  What drives someone to bring the world of make-believe to life?  Whatever that element is that propels them forward, that desire to persevere even when something goes wrong with the shot, is an inspiring mindset to observe.  Everyone should take the opportunity to experience film making, even just once, to see that passion in action. Watching others take a script and turn it into something distinctively visual, inspired me to continue to tell my story, build my world, despite the hindrances I encounter both on paper and in reality. 

             

Burning Tulips

I put tulips under all the pillows, and then I set fire to the house
Please don't ask me why, as I am not at liberty to say one word

It's better this way, the perfect love will protect my soul
and get us across the river for a cheaper fare--and a smile

I swear to you now, all is just fine. No crying, No, please
Our fame with the devil was worth the song in your heart

Come quickly to the playground and jump on a swing
We can tease the heavens, dragging sweet wind with our feet

I know exactly what I'm doing with the gift of eternity
Cycling back and forth, corrupting the family with love

Lucky 7 Meme

I have been furiously working on my WIP and slack in my blogging as of late.  So, you can imagine my surprise when the lovely and supportive S.E. Lane from Writing Belle left me a flattering comment about being tagged.  According to her, "This is a different kind of meme which requires you to go to page 77 of your current Manuscript, go to line 7, and copy 7 lines, sentences, or paragraphs. Then you're supposed to tag 7 more bloggers!"  Well, I can sort of do that.  I suppose if I formatted my current WIP as a more book like format rather than the standard Word document default I would have a page 77.  I can definitely choose 7 other bloggers (and then some) upon which to bestow this honor.  


What I fear is becoming hopelessly addicted to sharing parts of my WIP and hearing what you all have to say.  That, or, finding myself so caught up in everyone's wonderful blogs, searching for my 7 victims (er...honorees) that I never finish this post and no one ever shares in the talent that I so enjoy reading.  This being said, it's with no further ado that I present to you 7 lines from "Gracie's Gift" my current WIP.  In this scene, Miles (the love interest) comes to check on Kaitlin (the MC) who has been home for the week.  (I can't say why yet.  Oh, and yes there are hints of dialect, but it's not heavy.  That pattern is in the whole manuscript--depending on the characters.)

"Miles, what I’m gonna do?  They won't let me stay here and even if they did, I can't afford it.  Can't go to New York with Brandon and Sharon.  My life is here."

 "First of all, you can do anythin' you want.  Second, you have no life."

"Shut up!  If you're trying to cheer me up, you need to work on your skills."

"Oh, I got skills."  Miles set my plate on the coffee table, grabbed me by the wrist and stood me up.  He spun me around again.  I was too defeated to resist him.  "Dang, girl!  You are a hot mess!" 

I've been working on this piece since summer of 2010.  I had to stop to finish my Master's and to get divorced.  Dust has settled, I am happier than ever and writing like a fiend.  I hope to finish the first draft no later than the end of June.  Stick around...maybe I will share more sometime.  

In the meantime, here are some other amazing bloggers you can check out:

Les Floyd from Lesism- who has recently re-explored his short story skills beautifully.

Molly O'Keefe from Drunk Writer Talk- who has inspired me to give this next one a go and see if I can finish a first draft over the summer this year.  I have already been researching and will be working an outline before then.  I'll let you know how that goes.  Thanks Molly for the honest expression about the process of head down writing.

Author Pete Hautman- who, in case you haven't read his work, is freaking hilarious.  Plus, his new book, The Obsidian Blade, is releasing on my birthday!  I can think of no better reason to honor him other than for being funny and for having a kick ass release date!  (The fact that he has won awards might have nothing to do with my selection.  Nor the fact that my students love to read his work--cause those things are not as important.)

Widow Dyer- who has overcome sickly computers to rise up again and continue on her quest of "aspiring" (however, she is writing like a machine which sounds like much more than aspiring if you ask me).  Check her out ans she what she has cooking in her writer life!

R. Mac Wheeler- who ranted recently to his fellow Indie authors about the quality of the work they are producing.  His point was made clearly without singling out any one particular author.  I found this compelling as a newbie for so many reasons that I just don't have time for now.  But, also, because I had an Indie send me a book for free and ask me to review it...good or bad...I'm torn.  This is a blog post in the making.  While I finish reading the book I was sent, read what R. Mac has to say and let him know what you think.  

AJ Humpage from All Write Fiction Advice- whose recent post on the difference between imagery and feeling as well as seeing the words and how they fit in the scene really struck a chord with me.  I tend to be a method writer and get extremely into my work.  Then , when I read aloud for my writer's group, I can not help but have different tones to my voice as I read the different characters.  Each word is considered carefully as I revise and edit.  Check out what she has to say and her tips on feeling the depth of the words.

Morgan Shamy-is somewhat new to me.  I've clicked follow on her blog, but somehow rarely manage to catch a post.  (I really need to reach out to all of these wonderful resources more often.)  Her recent post about Beta Reading caught my eye though.  As I connect more to other authors and experience greater depth with my writing group, I am learning more and more about what it means to be a Beta reader or to use a Beta reader.  Morgan poses great questions and advice about beta reading that I hadn't yet solidified in my head.  Check her out.

So, there are my 7 Memes for this round of shout outs and awards.  I hope I have connected you with some people that will help you grow as a writer just as they have for me.  What do you think about their ideas?  What do you look for in a good blog?  

I also hope you enjoy my 7 lines of manuscript.  Have you ever used dialect or written in a character voice that is so different from your own?  What resources did you use?

Book Review: The Kite Runner

I have read very few Afghan books. In fact, other than this one, Three Cups of Tea is the only other book I have read with Afghanistan as a setting (and I have little to nothing I care to say about that one). The Kite Runner is, for sure, on my list as a favorite. 


Amir, a young and wealthy Afghan boy, describes life growing up in the Afghanistan of the 1970's and 80's. He grows up with his distant father, his family's servant and the servant boy, Hassan. The close age of the boys and the absence of their mothers are what bond the two young boys together. Despite their closeness, social norms still play a strong role in their relationship and Amir often toys with the lines between Hassan's friendship and servitude. Life for them is very simple and typical, with strong customs and traditions until one of these traditions leads them into a tragedy that brings forth doubt, secrets and fractures the tightly bonded group of men both young and old. 


A few short years after the boys share this secret, Russia invades Afghanistan and brings destruction to the country. Amir and his father escape to America and join many other refugees in the community where they begin to rebuild their lives. We see an adult Amir and his father discover one another as they grow older together and share the memories and the secrets of their Afghanistan and their lives. Amir discovers secrets of his father that will forever change his life. 


Khaled Hosseini writes such beautifully descriptive prose, bringing readers into the foreign world of the past. I was gripped by the former beauty of a country that I have only seen as a desolated war zone on television. These descriptions not only exposed the warm hearts of the characters, but of a people so misunderstood and misrepresented by the extremists shown on the news today. This is a crafted tale of humanity, love and courage that should be read by everyone. 

Well heck...Rejection...What was your first time like?

Despite the post title, there is no pity party here.  I have been living life to the fullest over the past week and a half and haven't been blogging.  While there was some definite task avoidance going on, there was some serious growth as well.  See, on the 13th of February, I received my first rejection letter.  Now, despite the crappy timing...Valentine's eve...this wasn't an entirely bad experience.  Within that notice of nonselection came some effective and ineffective advice.  See below:

Hello Christine Benson,
Thank you for your submission to Red Fez. We know that you put a lot of time and effort into your submission, so we appreciate you thinking of us. Right or wrong, we have decided against using your work in our next issue.  (Polite, direct and to the point.)

You indicated you wanted to receive feedback on your submission. Since you put the effort into submitting to us, we feel you deserve an explanation for our decision. There's nothing worse than submitting to a publication and learning nothing from the process. Here is the raw feedback from our editors: (Standing by their word)

Feedback from 2 editors:


Discovering invisibility
 1) in the first 2 paragraphs, there is a serious overabundance of the words: flames, brats, beds/bed, and grease. I think some synonyms would do wonders for the redundant use of said words.(Fair enough, I tend to overuse words and I should have caught that.  Rookie mistake.)   it's a somewhat confusing how many people are involved here because she refers to everyone involved as the boys, she and marie e.t.c. this sentence in particular could have been better: (Too many pronouns.  Ok, well this is probably also valid as I struggled with identifying the speaker a bit due to the personal similarities that brought out embarrassment.  Lesson learned: Go for it.  Don't hold back.  Readers don't automatically think the event happened to you when it is labeled as fiction.  And if they do think that, then you must have a strong protagonist.)

For years they had been all getting together and drinking and nothing like this had ever happened before.


get rid of the all, no need for that. i haven't even mentioned how generic some of these metaphors are:


She robotically, handed him another beer, pausing to watch the cold tear of sweat running down the bottle; the slight tremble of excitement causing it to drip on her hand.


robotically? like mechanized? ugh, me no likee. (Ok, I have to admit, this one hurt.  I especially liked that line, I felt this line.  So why did I like it?  I've had to think about this one a lot.  This has been a big part of my task avoidance and self-doubt.  My peer group gushed over this line and the imagery.  I felt it, because at this point, I was going for it, mixing the real experience with the fiction.  However, because I hadn't gone for it before, hadn't let the reader SEE my protagonist and how much the proceeding experience affected her, the reader couldn't feel what I felt.

2) Not terrible, but it doesn't seem like a fit for the Fez. (Fair enough...this happens.  I need to get better at analyzing the places I am submitting.) This reminds me of the submission about a group of middle aged couples awkwardly watching porno movies together. In fact at first i thought it was the same piece. Is my mom sending these in under different pen names? (Really?  Is this comment necessary?  How am I learning from this?  This genre was a risk for me anyway.  I have to admit, I am now gun shy about sharing anything like this piece again.  Any ideas on how this can help me grow?)

Having said that, we're just one publication with one opinion. In the end we can't help but publish what we like. We could be wrong about your piece and it wouldn't be the first time. We thank you for giving us the opportunity to look at this piece - we appreciate it - and wish you best of luck in finding a suitable publisher for your work. (In fact, check out our Friends of Fez page for a list of other publishers that may be interested in your work!). We hope you'll continue to consider Red Fez in the future. (Thanks for being open and honest.  I appreciate the way they left the door open for me.  That makes it all feel better...it honestly does, no sarcasm at all.)

Artistically yours,
The Red Fez Editorial Team 

Over the past week, I have contemplated this letter and reread it many times.  I went back over the piece of writing I had submitted and made some corrections based on their feedback.  I even took some time for myself to feel the sting and disappointment of being rejected.  Once I was ready to stop crying in my orange juice, I had to work my way back on track.

5 Things I did in response to my rejection...

1. I didn't stop completely.  I wrote some poems for myself.  I wrote about 400 words on my WIP (admittedly with the creep of self-doubt).  I scribbled an idea here and there from my dreams.  

2. I shared my experience with friends, family, writing peers and even my 7th grade students.  Talking through the rejection helped me bring perspective to it.

3. I read a book, for fun.  Not a trade book about improving my writing, just a novel.

4. I opened my blog several times, knowing I wasn't going to write but needing to remind myself how new I am and how much I want this.

5. I read tweets, blogs and status updates from fellow writers, published and aspiring.  We all struggle sometimes.  How we respond to that struggle seems to be what separates the successes from the failures.

So, here I am.  Feeling like somewhat of an embattled veteran and picking myself up to carry on.  I have great supporters out there (and more clearly identified them by sharing my struggle).  I still have the drive to move ahead and work for my dream.  I'm putting myself back on my ROW80 goals.  Writing will go on and I will grow from this experience.  Now, what I'm wondering...what was your first time like?